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Yardbirds, Jawboning, and Shooting the Shit

Just got back from getting my haircut, and my stylist (I guess men have stylists) was the happiest, funniest, most insightful yardbird I’ve met in quite some time.


We just chatted and discussed our families and made our cynical comments about the fucked up world and jawboned – for those of you not from the southern US, jawboning is where are you just laugh and make cynical observations and tell jokes and in general just shoot the shit – which is also I think a southern colloquialism, which means to jawbone.

Anyway, she was so nice and fun and friendly that I accidentally let her cut my hair too short in front. What the heck, she deserved a nice tip.


She was what we would call a yardbird. An older wiry woman past a certain age, or between certain ages but with a sassy attitude and wiry and with a strong work ethic, can be called a yardbird.


On farms, yardbirds are leaner than cage raised birds, and they are tougher. They live off of worms and bugs and gravel. Being lean and tough and scrappy are required for humans to be yardbirds.


Man cannot be yardbirds, and fat people cannot be yardbirds. No sign of comfort or leisure is allowed. A yardbird can at most be a bantamweight - see the connection? It's not an accident. Must be ready and willing to punch above your weight.

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