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If You Want to Elope to Cozumel, Tips from a Voice of Experience

Updated: Jun 26

First off, best wishes for a long and happy marriage!

Second point, I have a hunch you could find a Catholic priest who would marry you off the books for a bit of cash.  Not a sacrament, mind you, just some generalities about loving one another, a swoop of the hand that’s not quite a sign of a cross, and an exchange of made-up vows and rings. And yes, the altar boys will be in on the grift, plus any girl you want to carry flowers.

At the initial consultation, the priest will hold his hand behind his back while pretending to look at an iguana. That is when you slip the cash in. No pesos.

It would ceremonial and memorable and  pleasant. At least they’ll be a hell of a lot of candles.

This is all most true and good advice in any case.

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